Monthly Address: Students, Volunteers & Host Families

See Below The  LETTER TO THE FIELD as well as the upcoming dates of Orientations and Volunteer Opportunities

January Letter to the Field

Happy New Year everyone!                        01/05/2012

Here we are, 5 months into the exchange experience…the half way point. By now students have weathered the strains of culture shock, loneliness before friends, the shock of homework liability, and the tender feelings over the holidays away from home. Here we are in the darkest part of the calendar. But w/ the weather amazing, it’s a good time to get out and exercise in the fresh air. It always helps w/ weight gain and winter blues.

 We are already receiving files of students arriving from all over the world in Aug. Please help us to find homes for them by being the best students EVER!!!! Ask your friends to consider hosting. Ask your teachers to see if they want us to come and speak about hosting & scholarships to go abroad & let us know!!!

 Students sign up for the Litchfield weekend Feb 2-5th. It’s an invitational weekend to a fun time at a rural school. It’s always one of the favorite weekends of the year, so they say, when we gather at the Re-entry Orientation in April. Students arrive on Thurs evening @ 6:30 pm @ the First Lutheran Church (703 So Sibley Ave) in Litchfield, for a potluck supper where they are assigned their host families for the weekend. They will attend a sporting event that evening, attend school on Fri where you will talk about your country & exchange experience, attend a sporting & fun event on Fri evening and be taken by bus on Sat to Powder Ridge for snow tubing. BRING WARM CLOTHES & $16! Sat evening is another gathering, and students are ready to return home again by Sunday at noon. Transportation is not provided. Car pooling is recommended. I will personally be driving out on Thurs after school but will not be returning for pickup on Sun. We highly encourage students to participate. Only 9 openings remain!!!

 Minnesota Timberwolves NBA game! Sunday Feb 19th. Tickets $11/person. Families & friends welcome!!! 160 tickets, call now. The Timberwolves are back and doing well so far. Ricky Rubio & Kevin Love are dazzling!!!

  April 14th @ 1pm  Guthrie Theatre outing for all students and 6 chaperones to see Hay Fever (a comedy play) in Mpls. This is the enrichment event we offer all of our students this year @ no charge, as we have a grant and are using student enrichment feeds. We’ll need 8 adult chaperones. Call to reserve. We have 80 student tickets.

  Sunday, April 22nd is the Re-entry Orientation @ Oak Knoll Lutheran Church in Mtka. You MUST BE THERE! It is required preparation for you to be prepared for your return home.

  May Minnesota Twins Major League Baseball game against Oakland Athletics, Memorial Day Monday. All family members, Volunteers & students welcome!

  The biggest issues we are having w/ students is too much time on social networking/computers. This causes  relationship problems with families and lost time at making American friends. It also increases homesickness and problems with Host Families. Please understand YFU guidelines re: one hour per day computer time, which includes homework. Try to find things to do around the house. If it snows, get outside and shovel the driveway and sidewalks. Offer to cook a meal. Clean up after meals, set the table, walk the dog, and bake a treat for the family. Share your country’s culture by making your favorite food or dessert. Ask your school if you can submit a letter from you or be interviewed for an article encouraging families to host an exchange student or an American student to become an exchange student abroad. Keep me posted.

 Thanks everyone!

 Betsy Kiefer, Field Director

Past Letters, Events, and Notices to the Field

December Letter to the Field:

 On 11/26, several exchange students, YFU Volunteers, & their families volunteered to pack food for Feed My Starving Children in Chanhassen. In 1.5 hrs, we packed enough food to feed 47 children for one year!!! It was definitely a feel good experience! We will try to schedule another nite @ FMSC in Jan or Feb. Everyone felt great about our effort. I so hope more students will join us next time. You will enjoy the experience.

Thanksgiving was a feast of a different sort for the exchange students. It is the beginning of our holiday experience which concludes 2011. I understand that some HF’s & students were in stores @ 12 midnite to shop! That’s pretty amazing. This Sat, Dec 3 @ 11am, we’ll be meeting at the Mall of America for our annual MOA day. We’ll meet by the Nordstrom’s seating area on the ground floor just outside of the shoe entrance. You can go off & shop, returning @ 1:30 for a group photo and we’ll go to one of the food courts to eat as a group. We also plan to go downtown Mpls for the Holidazzle Parade by Macy’s southeast door on the Nicollet Mall to view the parade. It will be crowded & it will be cold (19F). WEAR WARM CLOTHES!!! If your Host Family will bring you to the mall & again to Mpls it will be convenient to put on heavier clothes from the car & deposit your shopping bags in the trunk. Remember to have a plan. The Light Rail Train goes to Nicollet Mall from the Mall of America and the schedule is on the EVENT section of this website. Try to carpool and again, PLEASE HAVE A PLAN FOR TRANSPORTATION!!

We have had many more student moves this year than ever before. In speaking w/ some of the Host Parents, I am learning that some students are not expressing gratitude for rides, opportunities, meals, and things done for them. It is the student’s job to be sensitive, kind, engaging, thankful and helpful! Students also need to be engaged in school activities to make friends & build a network, to get the most out of this year. I know that far too many students are spending WAY too much time on social networking, SKYPE, email so as to often exceed 8 hours some days. This is not why you are here and it is interfering w/ relationships. This is something that can break apart your host family relationship, requiring a move. It is very difficult to recruit new host families in this economy and especially very hard at holiday time. Don’t sleep half the day away on weekends. Get up. Show up. Help out. Do chores w/o being asked or reminded. Please honor YFU expectations & guidelines. Be a good family member and this is all about being an academic family-centered experience.

We are considering doing an organized YFU activity between Christmas & New Years. One idea would be snow tubing in Plymouth.  If anyone has any ideas of what would be fun, please email them to me.

Grades are important. Some students are telling teachers, Volunteers & Host Parents that “grades do not count” for them. That is not correct! Grades DO count. They may not translate to credit back home, but they DO COUNT here. You are here on a J-1 study visa. The US Dept of State says you must maintain at least a C grade in each class beyond the period of initial adjustment. Most students talk about how “easy school in America is”. If that is true, then you should not have any trouble getting at least C grades. American tax payers support schools and you owe it to your host parents to take this opportunity seriously. Every year, YFU sends students back early because they are doing poorly in school. Some high schools refuse to accept students the next year if exchange students don’t take their opportunity seriously enough. This stay is a gift, please don’t blow it!

Christmas/Hannakah is coming. Please be curious and accept that the way your Host Family celebrates the holidays is different than the way you do so at home. Do not criticize! Maybe you could offer to make a food you enjoy in your home country for your holiday dinner. Don’t worry about buying gifts for your Host Family. One idea is to do service as a gift…think about what you can do to give a gift of service to your Host Family, instead of something you buy. Or, you could take your family out to eat, or make them a special meal from you. If your family attends church or temple, go w/ them and learn about the way religion is practiced in America. It doesn’t have to change the way you believe, but join in to grow and understand your family & community better. Do it with joy in your heart and talk about something you’ve learned afterward. Ask questions. Try going to youth group. You will meet many great kids your age. During this season of giving, it is important to show gratitude to everyone….your teachers, the Principal, your Counselor who works for you & listens to you, your Host Family, your friends, coaches, directors….tell them thank you and look into their eyes when you say it so they know you are sincere.

Ask if you can help prepare the home for the holiday, and clean up any chore left undone outside. Ask about shoveling snow, it will be much appreciated!

During the December holidays, it’s a good time to check our attitude. A great time to ask your Host Families what could make their experience better and take it to heart what they say, because this experience is about them, too. There’s an amazing Native American wisdom about this I want to share with you.  Please read & discuss with your volunteer & your Host Family and keep it in mind:

 “One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’ The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, ‘Which wolf wins?’ The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’”

Hope to see you at the Mall of America and the Holidazzle Parade. Your families are welcome! The parade is free.

Remember, happiness is a choice. Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.

So…..BE HAPPY!!!

November Letter - Post Arrival Orientation option:

This Sunday is the final offering for the Post Arrival Orientation in Mankato on Oct 23rd. Students will be arriving by 1pm and families @ 4:30 pm. I will be departing my home @ 11am on Sunday if any std wishes to hitch a ride. Stds will be fed by 3:30 pm. Adults please plan to eat prior to arriving. Thank you!

According to Cita Guna Maignes, Intern'l Recruitment Specialist who is allowing us to use the facility on the campus @ Minnesota State Univ in Mankato…here are her directions. Cita's Cell: 507-779-2980 Betsy’s Cell: 612-298-9987 Ryan's Cell: 952.270.9840 Lynnell Pemble’s cell: 1-507-381-7093

Past VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNTIES!

University of Minnesota Landscape Arboretum - Take the opportunity to connect with the University and the Community through volunteering with horticultural experiences. Just like trees - you all have the opportunity to become positive members of your community.

Feed My Starving Children  Chanhassen Saturday 11/26–need 48 students or family members with 5 adult chaperones needed call Betsy ASAP to sign up. More info to come in October. Email Betsy at kiefer@yfu.org 

Mall of America shopping – Sat Dec 3rd 11am-5pm w/ Holidazzle Parade @ 6:30pm

September Letter to the Field.

 Host families take it easy at first. Remember students have much to adjust to. They need private time but should not be isolating in their room for long periods. Too much time on the computer or telephone back home only serves to increase their homesickness. Limit recreational computer use to 1 hr/day & no more than one call home per week, usually on Sundays. Get them involved in chores but not to be doing all of the chores! Encourage a sport or extracurricular right away in school! Get them volunteering. Remember students:

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections. Also be clear that your role is to be a good cultural AMBASSADOR from your country. You left your country and it is essential to be flexible to adjust to your new family and culture here. Try new foods, try new activities, open your mind to new ways of doing things, share ideas in classes, but in a way so as not to shock or judge others. Try to steer clear of political arguments. Be a good listener. Participate! Go to your school’s Homecoming! Go in a group. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Remember to ask if you can go places, ahead of time. Communicate! Communicate!!! COMMUNICATE!!!!! Are things different than the way they are in your home country? YFU told you they would be!

Greater Minneapolis Directories have arrived. They contain all of the student/host family information helpful to arrange carpooling & stay connected. Cost: $2.75 or 2/$5.00. They will be available at the Post Arrival Orientations.

Thanks to all the Volunteers who attended & Host Parents who gave rides to students for the Landing Pow Wow 9/10. We were able to work w/ students to help them identify strategies for success:

>Complete & hand in homework as assigned-it’s usually 20-30% of the grade + Participate in class discussions – often 10-20% of class grade.

>Be present in the family – do not isolate in your room, do not text @ dinner table and take your headsets off when riding w/ your family to relate to them

>Limit computer use to one hour per day and one time per week with Natural Family & friends back home. A boyfriend or girlfriend from home often sabotages this experience, & too much contact is destructive to investing in relationships here.

>Social networking can sap the energy and time of exchange students, isolating them & retarding their adjustment & relationships w/ friends & family

>Attending church can give them another larger family & support system & church youth group can be a great place to find good reliable friends/social network

>Changing families is not the first resort. Problem-solving & conflict resolution is essential in every relationship!

>Try new foods, let your family know what you enjoy eating, be grateful for meals & help clean up kitchen. Participate in dishes, setting table, meal prep. Don’t use food as a comfort measure, thus overeating. Boys will grow taller, girls often gain weight. Foods here contain more sugar & starch/calories.

>Get daily exercise to avoid excessive weight gain. Ride bike, walk, and take a sport or activity in school.

>Appreciate what your HF does for you. Be grateful and say THANKYOU for every ride, meal, advice, encouragement and helpful thing they do.

>Engage @ school & in the family, talk to people, introduce yourself. Be PATIENT w/ yourself & others & FORGIVING of those who disappoint you.

>DO NOT pressure the school to be a senior or to graduate. YFU does not guarantee diplomas. Most all students receive a Certificate of Participation.

>Homesickness is normal. Fatigue is normal and a part of the adjustment process. Being an exchange student is hard work! You may need ~10 hrs of sleep/nite for the first 3 months. 

Host Parents: a student should never be pressured to attend church or religious gatherings or to convert. You can invite them to participate. Religion is something very personal. The US Dept of State conducts interviews with students & this is one of the findings they published last week. We should not coerce or pressure.

STUDENTS are CULTURAL AMBASSADORS THRU YFU – PLEASE DISCUSS THIS WITH THEM.

Some things we didn’t talk enough about:

>No piercings, tattoos or body mutilation! You need to have a parent’s permission to pierce or tattoo here. It’s the law.

>Students, please understand that pornography will not be ok and could result in a family change or early return.

>School attendance is mandatory unless you are ill or traveling with your HF (host family) or school.

>Traveling independently is not permissible. Please fill out Permission to Travel Forms before you leave home for more than 2 days/send to via fax (952.474.4460) or email (kiefer@yfu.org)

>Follow the rules & expectations, remembering they are what works in this culture and will set you up for success.

>Smoking is against the law if you are <18. I do not place smokers. No parent wants their children to smoke. It is unhealthy & you cannot participate legally in school activities if you smoke. It is against the rules of the Minnesota State High School League. Drinking or Smoking on campus will get you suspended!

STUDENTS: The pain of restraint is worth far more than the pain of regret.

*Host Families & Students: Call your volunteer at least once per month to talk. They should be checking in with you as well.

*Sure, things are different here….but therein lies the key to understanding….Say often: NOT GOOD, NOT BAD, BUT DIFFERENT

Being Happy Doesn’t Mean Everything is Perfect.

Being Mature means you have common sense & practice it. Being mature means you understand the differences in our cultural practices and you respect, honor and abide by them. Honor & respect, communication and integrity is the foundation for building good relationships!

*The information contained in this publication is confidential and should not be distributed. The information is intended for the use of YFU employees, students, host families and volunteers to promote a successful exchange experience. The contact information should not be used for solicitations and mass email distribution to obtain content for surveys is not permitted. If you are unsure of the use of this book, please contact Betsy Kiefer, Field Director @: Kiefer@yfu.org to obtain prior written approval for authorized use.

The second home visit will be during September. We are now required by the State Dept to RE-visit your home for student safety.

Thanks everyone!!!

Betsy Kiefer